35-year-old woman refuses to cancel anniversary plans with her husband in order to go to her coworker's party instead: 'Your husband planned a surprise for your anniversary, and you straight up bailed'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Aug 30, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Anniversaries might not matter for everyone, but this lady is clearly taking her husband for granted. In just two years, she has already forgotten that her wedding anniversary was this week. Based on how her husband reacted, clearly, this is the kind of guy who does care about special events and celebratory moments. 

If a couple decides that they have no desire to celebrate their anniversary, that needs to be a mutually agreed-upon choice. Otherwise, one party is inevitably minimizing a moment of significance for the other party, and that inevitably creates an unhealthy dynamic moving forward. This couple wasn't communicating about what they were going to do on their special day, but that's partially because the author's husband was secretly planning something special for her. However, from her perspective, she either assumed they weren't doing anything at all or the thought never even occurred to her.

This conflict ultimately came to the surface when the author informed her husband that she was going to her coworker's "going-away" party one night, but of course, it wasn't just any night. It was the night of their anniversary and her husband's secret celebration. When he tried to explain that it was important to him that his wife keep the night free, she couldn't see his perspective. She didn't even consider the possibility that she could skip her coworker's party and schedule one-on-one time with him before he left the country. That way, she could spend her anniversary with her husband. That would have been a decent compromise, but unfortunately, this lady did not have the ability to consider this option.

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  • "[Am I wrong] for skipping my anniversary dinner to go to a coworker’s farewell party?"

    A man in a blue shirt turns away from a woman in a yellow shirt as they argue while sitting on the couch.
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  • Several members of the online community dragged the author for not considering her husband's feelings. In fact, she even belittled his emotions in her story in order to make him seem like a child. Clearly, her attempt to manipulate the narrative did not resonate with folks online, who were able to see right through her and call her out on her nonsense.

  • I (35F) have been married to my husband (38M) for almost two years. Since my company went remote last year, I have been working from home full-time. While I like the flexibility, I have missed the social interaction of being in the office. I have been making an
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  • effort to have lunch with my coworkers occasionally, and it has helped me feel like I still have a life outside the house.
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  • One of my closest work friends, James, just got promoted and is moving to Europe. He has been with the company for years, and a lot of us are going to miss him.
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  • The team is throwing him a farewell party next Thursday, and I told my husband I was planning to go.
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  • That is when he reminded me that Thursday is our wedding anniversary. He said he had already made dinner reservations as a surprise. I genuinely felt bad for forgetting but I told him we could still celebrate the next day or over the weekend.
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  • He said it is not the same and that it feels like I am putting a coworker ahead him. He did not yell or argue, but instead got quiet and started doing this thing where he mopes around and acts sad without really saying much. I
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  • told him anniversaries can be celebrated anytime, and this dinner is a one-time thing. James is leaving the country. I will not have another chance to see him off. My husband, on the other hand, will be here the next day, the day after that, and so on.
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  • Now he has been a bit distant all week, like I personally attacked him by not canceling my plans. It feels like I am dealing with a kid who is pouting because his birthday party did not go exactly how he pictured it.
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  • I get that anniversaries are special to some people, but I honestly do not think this is that big of a deal. We have only been married two years, and to me, the important milestones are five, ten, and so on, not every single year. I am still willing to celebrate, just not on that exact Thursday.
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  • A woman in a yellow shirt turns away from a man in a blue shirt as they argue while sitting on the couch.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • • Flat-Replacement... · 17h ago YTA. You're acting like this is your one and only petitioning to see this dude ever again. He's important enough for you to miss your own anniversary dinner for him, but not important enough for you to just set up your own lunch with him later? Really??
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  • slackerchic • 17h ago YTA. This is only your second wedding anniversary and you're already dismissing it. You also forgot about your anniversary that is THIS WEEK. Ma'am. Come
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  • on now. Your husband has every right to feel the way he does. Maybe if you tried validating his feelings instead of going on about this James person you won't even see again you'd have a better outcome.
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  • pottersquash - 17h ago YTA. You forgot. Its not the judgment of anniversaries, its your anniversary is a set date and at work when they were picking a date you forgot to check to see if you were free and thats really to put your spouse in.
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  • novalacyy 17h ago YTA, fr. Your husband planned a surprise for your anniversary, and you straight up bailed for a coworker's party. That's kinda disrespectful, big milestones. deserve the respect of showing up, even if you think it's flexible
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  • . Lucky_Volume3819 · 17h ago YTA. Not only did you forget your anniversary, you're putting some other dude ahead of anniversary plans with your husband.
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  • I can't imagine being this adamant, dismissive and belittling over a going away party for a coworker. You could have done lunch or something else at any point with this person. The optics of this are weird at best.
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  • It feels like I am dealing with a kid who is pouting because his birthday party did not go exactly how he pictured it. Interesting that you see yourself as the adult in this situation.
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  • We have only been married two years And you're already blowing off things that are important to your spouse. Bodes super well for your future.
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aita anniversary marriage employee work coworkers husband wedding entitled people karma workplace entitled people
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